The Last 10 Things The Other Sex Would Ever Say

10. Could our relationship be more Physical? I'm tired of just being friends. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.
9. Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way. While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
8. I think hairy butts are really sexy. I think hairy butts are really sexy.
7. Hey, get a whiff of that one. Her tits are just too big.
6. Please don't throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are just too cute. Sometimes I just want to be held.
5. This diamond is way too big. That chick on Murder, She Wrote gives me a woody.
4. I won't even put my lips on that things unless I get to swallow. Sure, I'd love to wear a condom.
3. Wow, it really is 14 inches! We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.
2. Does this make my butt look too small? Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch whatever that's on Oxygen.
1. I'm wrong, you must be right again. I think we are lost, we better pull over and ask for directions.

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