The Last 10 Things The Other Sex Would Ever Say

10. Could our relationship be more Physical? I'm tired of just being friends. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.
9. Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way. While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
8. I think hairy butts are really sexy. I think hairy butts are really sexy.
7. Hey, get a whiff of that one. Her tits are just too big.
6. Please don't throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are just too cute. Sometimes I just want to be held.
5. This diamond is way too big. That chick on Murder, She Wrote gives me a woody.
4. I won't even put my lips on that things unless I get to swallow. Sure, I'd love to wear a condom.
3. Wow, it really is 14 inches! We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.
2. Does this make my butt look too small? Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Murphy Brown.
1. I'm wrong, you must be right again. I think we are lost, we better pull over and ask for directions.

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