Courtroom Bloopers (True)
- Q. What is your brother-in-law's
name?
- A. Borofkin.
- Q. What's his first name?
- A. I can't remember.
- Q. He's been your brother-in-law
for years, and you can't remember his first name?
- A. No. I tell you I'm
too excited. (Rising from the witness chair and pointing to Mr. Borofkin.)
Nathan, for God's sake, tell them your first name!
- Q. Did you ever stay
all night with this man in New York?
- A. I refuse to answer
that question.
- Q. Did you ever stay
all night with this man in Chicago?
- A. I refuse to answer
that question.
- Q. Did you ever stay
all night with this man in Miami?
- A. No.
- Q. Now, Mrs. Johnson,
how was your first marriage terminated?
- A. By death.
- Q. And by whose death
was it terminated?
- Q. Doctor, did you say
he was shot in the woods?
- A. No, I said he was
shot in the lumbar region.
- Q. What is your name?
- A. Ernestine McDowell.
- Q. And what is your marital
status?
- A. Fair.
- Q. Are you married?
- A. No, I'm divorced.
- Q. And what did your
husband do before you divorced him?
- A. A lot of things I
didn't know about.
- Q. And who is this person
you are speaking of?
- A. My ex-widow said it.
- Q. How did you happen
to go to Dr. Cherney?
- A. Well, a gal down the
road had had several of her children by Dr. Cherney, and said he was really
good.
- Q. Do you know how far
pregnant you are right now?
- A. I will be three months
November 8th.
- Q. Apparently then, the
date of conception was August 8th?
- A. Yes.
- Q. What were you and
your husband doing at that time?
- Q. Mrs. Smith, do you
believe that you are emotionally unstable?
- A. I should be.
- Q. How many times have
you comitted suicide?
- A. Four times.
- Q. Doctor, how many autopsies
have you peformed on dead people?
- A. All my autopsies have
been performed on dead people.
- Q. Were you aquainted
with the deceased?
- A. Yes, sir.
- Q. Before or after he
died?
- Q. Officer, what led
you to believe the defendant was under the influence?
- A. Because he was argumentary
and he couldn't pronunciate his words.
- Q. What happened then?
- A. He told me, he says,
"I have to kill you because you can identify me."
- Q. Did he kill you?
- A. No.
- Q. Mrs. Jones, is your
appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your
attorney?
- A. No. This is how I
dress when I go to work.
- THE COURT: Now, as we
begin, I must ask you to banish all present information and prejudice from
your minds, if you have any.
- Q. Did he pick the dog
up by the ears?
- A. No.
- Q. What was he doing
with the dog's ears?
- A. Picking them up in
the air.
- Q. Where was the dog
at this time?
- A. Attached to the ears.
- Q. When he went, had
you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding
all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you,
meaning you and she, with him to the station?
- MR. BROOKS: Objection.
That question should be taken out and shot.
- Q. And lastly, Gary,
all your responses must be oral. O.K.? What school do you go to?
- A. Oral.
- Q. How old are you?
- A. Oral.
- Q. What is your relationship
with the plaintiff?
- A. She is my daughter.
- Q. Was she your daughter
on February 13, 1979?
- Q. Now, you have investigated
other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?
- Q. ...and what did he
do then?
- A. He came home, and
next morning he was dead.
- Q. So when he woke up
the next morning he was dead?
- Q. Did you tell your
lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?
- A. He didn't offer me
nothing; he just said I could have the furniture.
- Q. So, after the anesthesia,
when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?
- A. I didn't see my scalp
the whole time I was in the hospital.
- Q. It was covered?
- A. Yes, bandaged.
- Q. Then, later on.. what
did you see?
- A. I had a skin graft.
My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.
- Q. Could you see him
from where you were standing?
- A. I could see his head.
- Q. And where was his
head?
- A. Just above his shoulders.
- Q. What can you tell
us about he truthfulness and veracity of this defendant?
- A. Oh, she will tell
the truth. She said she'd kill that sonofabitch - and she did!
- Q. Do you drink when
you're on duty?
- A. I don't drink when
I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.
- Q. ...any suggestions
as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted
murder trial?
- A. The victim lived.
- Q. Are you sexually active?
- A. No, I just lie there.
- Q. Are you qualified
to give a urine sample?
- A. Yes, I have been since
early childhood.
- Q. The truth of the matter
is that you were not an unbiased,
- objective witness, isn't
it. You too were shot in the fracas?
- A. No, sir. I was shot
midway between the fracas and the naval.
- Q. What is the meaning
of sperm being present?
- A. It indicates intercourse.
- Q. Male sperm?
- A. That is the only kind
I know.
- Q. (Showing man picture.)
That's you?
- A. Yes, sir.
- Q. And you were present
when the picture was taken, right?
- Q. Was that the same
nose you broke as a child?
Q. Are you sexually active?
A. No, I just lie there.
- Q. What gear were you
in at the moment of the impact?
A. Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
- Q. This myasthenia gravis,
does it affect your memory at
all?
A. Yes.
Q. And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A. I forget.
Q. You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
forgot?
- Q. What was the first
thing your husband said to you
that upset you that morning?
A. He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q. And why did that upset you?
A. My name is Susan.
- Q. Now doctor, isn't
it true that when a person dies in
his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A. Did you actually pass the bar exam?
- Q. The youngest son,
the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
A. Uh, he's twenty-one.
- Q. Were you present when
your picture was taken?
A. Would you repeat the question?
- Q. So the date of conception
(of the baby) was August 8th?
A. Yes.
Q. And what were you doing at that time?
A. Uh....
- Q. She had three children,
right?
A. Yes.
Q. How many were boys?
A. None.
Q. Were there any girls?
- Q. How was your first
marriage terminated?
A. By death.
Q. And by whose death was it terminated?
- Q. Can you describe the
individual?
A. He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q. Was this a male or a female?
- Q. Is your appearance
here this morning pursuant to
a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A. No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
- Q. Doctor, how many of
your autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
A. All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
- Q. ALL your responses
MUST be oral, OK? What school did you
go to?
A. Oral.
- Q. Do you recall the
time that you examined the body?
A. The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q. And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
A. No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing
an autopsy on him!
- Q. Are you qualified
to give a urine sample?
A. Huh?
- Q. Doctor, before you
performed the autopsy, did you check
for a pulse?
A. No
Q. Did you check for blood pressure?
A. No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
A. No.
Q. So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
you began the autopsy?
A. No.
Q. How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A. Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q. But could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
A. Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law.
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