Bumper Stickers
- Your kid may be an honors
student, but you're still an idiot.
- All generalizations
are false.
- Cover me. I'm changing
lanes.
- I brake for no apparent
reason.
- Learn from your parents'
mistakes - use birth control.
- I'm not as think as
you drunk I am.
- Forget about World Peace...Visualize
using your turn signal.
- We have enough youth,
how about a fountain of Smart?
- He who laughs last thinks
slowest.
- Lottery: A tax on people
who are bad at math.
- It IS as bad as you think,
and they ARE out to get you.
- Auntie Em, Hate you,
hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
- Change is inevitable,
except from a vending machine.
- Time is what keeps everything
from happening at once.
- I love cats...they taste
just like chicken.
- Out of my mind. Back
in five minutes.
- Forget the Joneses,
I keep us up with the Simpsons.
- Born free...Taxed to
death.
- The more people I meet,
the more I like my dog.
- Laugh alone and the
world thinks you're an idiot.
- Rehab is for quitters.
- I get enough exercise
just pushing my luck.
- Sometimes I wake up
grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.
- All men are idiots,
and I married their King.
- Horn broken. Watch for
finger.
- Jack Kevorkian for White
House Physician.
- Work is for people who
don't know how to fish.
- Montana -- At least
our cows are sane!
- I didn't fight my way
to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
- Women who seek to be
equal to men lack ambition.
- If you don't like the
news, go out and make some.
- When you do a good deed,
get a receipt--in case heaven is like the S..
- Sorry, I don't date
outside my species.
- No radio - Already stolen.
- Reality is a crutch
for people who can't handle drugs.
- Real women don't have
hot flashes, they have power surges.
- I took an IQ test and
the results were negative.
- Where there's a will,
I want to be in it.
- OK, who stopped payment
on my reality check?
- Few women admit their
age; Fewer men act it.
- I don't suffer from
insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
- Hard work has a future
payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
- Tell me to 'stuff it'
- I'm a taxidermist.
- IRS: We've got what it
takes to take what you've got.
- Time is the best teacher;
Unfortunately it kills all its students.
- It's lonely at the top,
but you eat better.
- According to my calculations,
the problem doesn't exist.
- Some people are only
alive because it is illegal to kill.
- Pride is what we have.
Vanity is what others have.
- A bartender is just
a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
- Reality? Is that where
the pizza delivery guy comes from?
- How can I miss you if
you won't go away?
- Warning: Dates in Calendar
are closer than they appear.
- Give me ambiguity or
give me something else.
- We are born naked, wet,
and hungry. Then things get worse.
- Make it idiot-proof
and someone will make a better idiot.
- Always remember you're
unique, just like everyone else.
- Friends help you move.
Real friends help you move bodies.
- Very funny Scotty, now
beam down my clothes.
- Puritanism: The haunting
fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
- Consciousness: That
annoying time between naps.
- i souport publik edekashun.
- Be nice to your kids.
They'll choose your nursing home.
- Beauty is in the eye
of the beer holder...
- There are 3 kinds of
people: those who can count & those who can't.
- Why is 'abbreviation'
such a long word?
- Ever stop to think and
forget to start again?
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